it's like you yanked my thoughts out all on a keyboard and a screen.
Wide Awake
quote you :"It is during such nights when sleep and I cannot bring ourselves to meet that I am most inspired to dream, discover, explore, create and imagine. So it isn’t all bad.
By the same idea, the alluring light at the end of the tunnel can often flicker and burst forth into a hideous freight train hurtling in my direction.
Some nights I close my eyes and drift off somewhere between dreams and reality — into subconscious territory where I’m not exactly wide awake, but I’m not sleeping like a rock either. It’s a middle ground, mid-doze, between consciousness and slumber, an abstract reverie where I can see, hear and feel everything around me but cannot control what happens. During THESE nights I must prepare for anything because there is no telling what can happen.
Sometimes I’m yanked back into reality by the most nightmarish threads of illusion, dreadful night terrors that leave me out of breath with a lead hammer pounding inside my chest. Sometimes I feel myself fighting out of fear, clawing my way through a veneer of restless sleep that covers me like a film, yet I cannot manage to slice my way through the thin layer of leathery nightmare. Sometimes I wake up missing an old girlfriend, gripped in a painful swirl of miserable heartache — as if old wounds were suddenly reopened and I’d been through the terrible break-up all over again.
Of course this is all very unpleasant information and is thus, a rather depressing note to end a blog entry on.
— and I love how dreams propel the mind of an artist into imagining what the world might be like if such dreams were in fact reality. It’s a compelling thought and it keeps me on my toes. I love that.
All this to say — when my heavy lids finally surrender to the weight of any given day’s worth of living, breathing, working, doing and being, I savor the moment with a vigorous (though slightly reticent) taste in my mouth because, as I’ve mentioned before, there’s truly no telling what might happen. You must be ready for anything.
Reality is a lovely place but I wouldn’t want to live there. "